Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone! The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned. For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Amen!

Ministering in the Inner-City

I've been doing a lot of Kid and teenage ministry lately. It's fantastic! On the weekends I've been hanging out with the inner city Kids downtown, who don't always have it easy. They age from five to 14, (once there was even a two year old). They come to our clubhouse, have a snack, we talk about whatever, but our lives are so different it is sometimes hard to find something in common. As the evening progresses we have small groups and pray, we have a quick teaching, and then we lead some worship. It has been amazing, because when we first started leading worship , most of the Kids didn't know the songs, and didn't really get into it, but about 6 weeks later they were singing their hearts out! This last time I could barely even hear myself singing because they were belting it out so loud. It is absolutely worth helping out, for that reason alone. The kids are so precious and adorable, they are respectful, and have very willing and open hearts. The girls absolutely love mine and Vanessa's "floppy" hair (as they call it) and will gently rub their faces against it, stating that they wished they had a pillow that felt like it! This weekend we are taking them to a farm with horses and cows and all kinds of other things. It is way out in the country where the kids probably have never been, so it will be quite an adventure!

Welcome to the Humble Club

Friday was a humbling day. Really it was. You know how cars go in the shop to be fixed right? Well My guitar had been in the "shop" so to speak, since Wednesday (and boy had I missed it.) The funny thing is though, it was the biggest, toughest, uneasy, job to get it home! The guitar was fixed then got drooped off at my church for me to pick up. Sounds easy enough yeah? Not really. I call Ben and he mentions that He won't be at the church that day so the doors might be locked if I try and pick it up. Well he suggests that I call Andy, so me being the agreeable person I am, take his suggestion and call Andy. Andy was seconds away from closing up the church and making his way outta there! So we figured out a plan to meet later in the afternoon and he would pass over the guitar to me. Well just let me tell you, if I got a dollar for every time I talked to Andy on the phone, then I would be about twenty bucks richer than I am now! Here's how it went: We set a time to meet at 2:20, then Andy would call 30 later and say "How does 1:40 sound?" then he'd call 20 minutes later and say "My meeting is over, How does right now sound?" and finally it came down to "I'll put the guitar in my office and leave a door unlocked and you can come pick it up when you feel like it." Talk about an indecisive morning! So we went to the Church and go to the door Andy tells us he left unlocked. Well we open it..or at least try to...But it won't open! We drive over to the other side of the church and try those doors...Nothing...By this time I am thinking that this whole thing was a big bad idea! I call Andy and he claims he left it unlocked! Then he offers us this bit of wisdom (read with a welsh accent) "If it isn't unlocked, then go to the side of the church where the windows are, and throw rocks at the windows. Because I know people are in there." This is where the humbling your flesh part comes in. Vanessa and I are a bit tentative at first, but we know that it has come down to this. So we search around for some rocks, but there are none....What do we do now? We get bark from around the trees! We have to find some heavy pieces though. Completely Humbling ourselves we walk to the side of the church and I throw the first piece of bark. How humiliating. Meanwhile Vanessa had hidden herself in a corner so no one could see her, and I didn't appreciate that so I called her over and made her stand with me and throw some. Then I go and hide....Finally after some heavy bark throwing, the teachers of the art class (they were cracking up) along with the students, saw us and went and unlocked the doors. Gosh it was dying to self for sure! We got our guitar back though, but I hope if it has to go the shop again someday, it won't be that hard to get back!

School supplies, Autumn, and Pumpkins

I love autumn! It is a marvelous season, probably my favorite over all the others. I say that and then my mind starts wandering to all the other seasons, and I could pick a million things I love about those seasons...But gosh, autumn is simply terrific. It's the beginning of school, which means "back to school shopping" for us youngins. I love buying all the school supplies...Pencils, glue sticks, markers, crayons...And best of all: notebooks! When I think of autumn I think of the amish, apple cider, and reading a fascinating book in front of a open window, with a slight draft coming in...I also think of the Grabill fair, apple dumplings, and leaf houses....Ahh the essence of autumn is simply lovely. Gee I'm excited about decorating my front porch with my new pumpkins!

September tales

Well tonight sets off the second bonfire party of September! My sister's and I invited a bunch of random people to our lovely fall fest, which are always extremely fun! As we were talking about earlier this day, you find out what people are really like at a bonfire...The real you comes out. Some sit in silence, some can't stand the silence, it's terrific! Well I must be off!

There's two of you!

Sometimes I feel like a Celebrity. Thanks to the fact that Vanessa and I are twins, we get a lot of stares. People everywhere we go will see us and say "Are you twins?" I would bet those three words are the most commonly spoken to us! Not long ago on the way home from our vacation, we stopped at a gas station, and due to the fact that we'd been driving awhile and my hair wasn't exactly fixed, I put on a headband, and so did Vanessa, then we both put our sunglasses on and went in....Well we went up to pay with our mom and this lady at the check out was being all friendly and talking to our mom, and then she looks at us with our headbands and sunglasses (we were trying too disguise ourselves) and says "Are you girls twins?" Guess that disguise didn't work. What's most funny is when someone came up to me once and said "There's two of you!" now that was interesting...

When I'm in the dentist chair....

Well, I did it. I faced my giants today and went to the dentist! Isn't it odd, how you have a sinking feeling in your stomach, while anticipating your dentist appointment? You could have the nicest dentist, but it still doesn't help. Your heart beats wildly, and your day seems to be not so sunny,when you hear that dreaded word...Dentist.

Catching Up

It has been an enormous amount of time since I have had the pleasure of blogging! Due to technical difficulties I have not been able to log into my blog so it has been over a month since I've graced your computer with my dandy posts. I've missed it! Here's a couple of things that's been going on. 1) My birthday has come and gone! For Vanessa and I, our birthday is practically a national holiday. It's a big deal man! I had a terrific day. I went out to Chinese for lunch with Van and Mom, watched a great episode of "Matlock" for nap time (every one needs a nap on their birthday...) Shopped in the evening at my favorite store (Target) and had mandarin orange pudding cake, that night with the family. Now doesn't that sound fun? 2)Vanessa and I are learning a great deal of sign language!It's been a lovely learning experience, I've really enjoyed it. We started last winter and have worked our way up to actually knowing how to have a conversation with each other and understanding it! It's simply terrific! 3)I went to the zoo with my niece last week and She was getting confused and calling the animals "apples" which was terribly cute. "Kiya can you say 'animal' ?" "Apple!" anyways the rest is kinda the usual summer stuff...Driving, going to the library (I got a Nat King Cole CD last time I went...His stuff is fantastic.) I went to my nephews' soccer practice, which was hot but fun.

His Faithfulness

Hello Bloggers! I am blogging tonight to tell you about a wonderful thing that has happened in my song writing world. There is a song I started probably around three years ago, I started it at church one Sunday night, and it is taken out of psalm 37. I've had this chorus for a long time. The words are: "I will feed on his faithfulness, I will rest in his righteousness, I will feed on his faithfulness and truly I will be fed" I have tried and tried to write a verse to go with it, but seriously nothing ever fit...Until tonight! I was singing about thirsting for the Lord and seeing him (psalm 42, and 63) and it just flowed right into the chorus beautifully! I was so excited, so I got Vanessa and showed her, and she started playing this terrific tag that lead into the chorus. Now isn't that neat?

Remembering Colorado!

Ah the sweetness of Colorado is embedded into my heart....The drive isn't so sweet though. Gosh we got home Friday night and I had major jet lag...Or would that be car lag? I didn't know what to do. My goodness! Oh but baby Dawson is just adorable, He's got the sweetest smiles, and my goodness his dirty look that he gives me is....Well dirty, but sweet. (Dave taught him to squint his eyes and glare, but Dawson thinks it's funny so he glares and smiles at the same time.....Entirely cute!) And I'm very proud to say my nephew totally has my eyes...What a cutie... Here's proof we really were there.

F.B.I agent or a donut filler? Hmm....

The other day Vanessa, and I were sitting around our dining room table talking to our Mom about what we wanted to do when we would grow up.......We both had the same ideas. We wanted to have a TV show called "Jane blonde" and be Private Investigators or F.B.I agents that do very cool stuff. I would never be a real P.I or agent in real life though, for it possesses to much of a risk, but on TV...Now that would be the ideal situation! Although if we're being honest with each other I must tell you that I don't know if I could act in front of a camera..Makes me feel a bit silly. Anyway we're sitting there talking to our Mom about this stuff, and we all pause, probably to take a drink of coffee or a bite of donut (this is the same day we got those jelly donuts from Richards Bakery...Remember a few posts ago?) And suddenly Vanessa pipes up and says "You know what I want to do? I want to be the person that squirts the jelly into the middle of the donut" It was classic ! I was a bit baffled, for she went from wanting to be an F.B.I agent to wanting to be a jelly squirter...What a switch! Not a day goes by where someone doesn't say "your funny!" to Van and I. What a life we lead. Gee whiz..

Vacation week

Well I'm sitting here drinking tropicana orange juice, listening to multiple conversations flow around me about books, and people from kendallville (don't ask me how that one got started!) I had forgotten how funny my sister and brother in law are....My goodness! The Rockies are great and beautiful. We went to old Colorado town this afternoon, it's a place with small shops that resemble the ones in the old west, back in the 1800's. We bought some great souvenirs there...We are official tourists. We also went to the garden of the gods which was massive! The rocks are so beautiful. Everything here is willi nilli, this is the Vacation life!

Donuts and Josh Groban

I know donuts are fatty(and not the omega 3 fatty acid that is beneficial) but there is a time in life where you should have some...Just because they're good. On that note...There is this adorable little donut place called "Richards Bakery" (located off of Dupont) that has incredible and I do mean incredible raspberry jelly filled donuts (oh now doesn't that sound good?) It resembles a bakery that you would imagine to be located in a small town.. So cute. And when you stand in front of the donut counter trying to decide what kind to get, the people working there stand behind the counter, smiling, watching, and waiting for your decision. It actually reminds me of a book I once read called the "Celebrity" by Robert Elmer. It's about a famous guy singer (like Josh Groban) who gets tired of the rich and famous life. So he changes his name to Joe, moves to a small town, and gets a job making donuts at "Andys donut barn" Sounds promising doesn't it? Ah...What a life!

Just call them "The Water Songs"

Lately I have been in such a music mood! Vanessa and I got inspired when Ben's brother and his band "Rend the heavens" came into town and played his original songs(with great style!) It made me want to write more songs...It was fantastic! I haven't really started anything new yet though...Mostly Vanessa and I are finishing a lot of the songs that have been stuck on the "shelf." It actually feels really good to complete them...A great accomplishment. The funny thing is, we were thinking about all the songs we've written in the past year or two, and quite a lot of them have something to do with water! We hadn't really even realized it but there's

1. "Let everything be washed away"
2. "Who is thirsty"
3. "Waters pouring out"
4. "she's my beautiful bride and she is white, she is washed in the blood of Jesus Christ"
5. "Healing will flow like water poured out"

It makes me laugh! What is it with our fascination with water?! The David Crowder band, Delirious, and Rend the heavens are great inspirations for writing creatively. I haven't listen to The David Crowder band a lot, but with the few songs I've heard, they are immensely creative with their lyrics and music, and it challenges me to think outside the box. Same with Delirous...Rend the heavens....I love their piano.

Friday: Happy Days

So tell me about your day. Did you read a book? Watch any good detective shows? What about a walk in the park? I myself have had a spectacular day! I went to Sams Club which is always a pleasure...For who on this green earth could resist good ol' Sams? And then My Mama took us to the coffee shop and we all got an iced Americana- Which was very potent and very good! And I sat there in that cold coffee shop reading my exquitsite mystery novel...How delightful. No worries that's not all I did today. But that's all I'm going to post about for now. Good days are...Well.....Impeccable.

Try this at home!

For those of you who enjoy delicious healthy food- You have to try the broccoli slaw fruit salad. It is unbelievably good! All you need is

1. a bag of broccoli slaw
2. 2 oranges
3. 2 apples
4. 1 cup of walnuts or pecans
5. half a bottle of Kens steakhouse raspberry and pecan dressing

Mix it up and your done! Broccoli is one of the best vegetables you could eat. With vitamin's B3 B5, C , E, Calcium, Iron, Zinc and Sulforaphanes. For more healthy eating and information on all kinds of vegetables check out this book by Charlotte Haigh "The top 100 immunity boosters" It is fabulous!

Enjoy life, and pink steering wheel covers!

Well it's official! Vanessa and I have found our long beloved pink steering wheel cover. It's the cat's meow! To drive with it on, is simply a pleasure. It's bright pink with short hair...Kinda like a chihuahua (Our neighbor has one of those and it barks at me in my yard!) Anyway here's one like it.

Literature Hall

A quote I saw inscribed on the walls of the Florence Library:

"A book is never far from the scholars hand

just as a song is never far from a singers lips"

-UNKNOWN

The Traveling Bookclub

Hello there my fellow bloggers and friends! I hope that you have not entertained the thought that I've forsaken you entirely...For I have not. On the subject of books and Vacation: When the time comes around for the season of Vacation, along with it comes the season of books. I absolutely cannot go on a trip without an excruciatingly large amount of books! I am an official booknerd! I absolutely love books. Past trips when I would be at my Grandma's, my seven year old cousin Rizo would be there also, and he would see Vanessa and I reading on the couch, and with great nerdiness he would pinch his nose and say in the proverbial librarians' voice "the book club has now officially started." What a cool cousin. Our recent nine hour trip seemed like a breeze...Thanks to the 17 books we brought along. Late into the night Vanessa and I were at the back of the van, lights turned on beside us, pages turning until we finally reached home. This is what you call a true "Traveling bookclub."

Where can wisdom be found?

JOB 28:23-28 "God alone knows the way to Wisdom, he knows the exact place to find it. He knows where everything is on earth, he sees everything under heaven. After he commanded the winds to blow and measured out the waters, Arranged for the rain and set off explosions of thunder and lightning, He focused on Wisdom, made sure it was all set and tested and ready. Then he addressed the human race: "Here it is! Fear-of-the-Lord--that's Wisdom, and Insight means shunning evil.'"

Don't you just love Texas?

It is a beautiful day today! It looks a bit like Texas, although I have to say I have never been to Texas. But in my creative imagination this is what it looks like. I was about to go wash our car Jack but I don't think I will anymore. I'll just stay inside and have some iced tea (or as we southern say "ah-ced tay.")

Oh don't you just love Spring and Summer? Picnics, Cars, Permits! All of it is good good good!

Exceptional!

I drove Jack today and had a exceptional time. He is truly a marvelous car. For a first drive I think I did pretty well. I've been reading my driver manual day and night for the past day or two, and gee wiz it is embedded in my heart and mind forever!

Do any of you know how far to turn your signal on before turning? Or how many feet to stop before a railroad track if you're a chauffeur driver? What about driving on a road and seeing a "roadwork ahead" sign- Do you slow down and look for it, brake and be prepared to stop, drive the posted speed and look for the roadwork, or just look for the roadwork? Here goes the fun!

Stereotype? No thanks!

Normally you nice friends of mine don't think I am a stereotype blonde ditz -cause I'm not. But I have to admit-today I did the funniest thing that seemed to be a bit too ditzy. I was with my Mom and we were going into the license branch to get a drivers manual...(I've been reading the wrong one all this time...We didn't think about getting a new one.) And we walked into the foyer of the building, and were about to go into the main place where people wait for their results, ect... To come in. So I look in through the glass door and see all these people sitting in chairs facing one another looking serious and professional, and I turn to my Mom and say very sincerely "We can't go in there! They're having a meeting!" Oh me, oh my, oh my, oh me.

Cup of tea!

It's been a great week, but I don't know exactly what to write a post about. So how bout I just tell you about a new song Van and I have written. Well... a few months ago I wrote a chorus about -"Water's pouring out into the dry land...rain is falling down from heaven above" and about how there will be great joy where there was sadness-wonderful peace for those who had none....And it has been a little hard to find a verse to go with it...It's one of those where you have to think and experiment with. So the water song has been "soaking" Matt redman on a interview I once saw said something really neat about songs "brewing and soaking". In his neat british accent he told about "how a good English person (or me) who knows how to make a good cup of tea will let it "sit and brew a little while" and how sometimes we need to let our songs "sit and brew a little while" in our hearts and so forth. That what the water song has been doing that's for sure! The funny thing is Vanessa and I haven't even tried to-but we are in the cycle where one of us will write a verse and not have a chorus to it, and the other will have a chorus and not have a verse - and we'll put it together and say "Hey! I like that!" And that's what we've kind of done with the "Water song" she wrote a verse and its been "brewing" and I wrote a chorus and it's been "brewing" and we've mixed our "brewed tea" and I think it's nice! So we'll see what happens, but that is what is up in the world of songwritting and myself.

Jack the spiffy guy

The topic is Jack . Out of all my postings, this has to be the most important topic I am about to address. It is the best, the most significant, the most exellent, and the greatest.. It is the topic of Jack. Mine and Vanessa's NEW CAR! He's a honda! Accord. A true F.B.I-ish type of tranportation- Black, luxourious, and spiffy. Coming soon- to a neighborhood near you- Vanessa,Jack and I. Now I will cease and desist from my typing and let you enjoy spiffy Jack.

These are a few of my favorite things.....

My favorite TV show: Sue Thomas F.B.eye. You people out there who have not seen "Sue Thomas F.B.eye" are in for a treat! It is a phenomenal show about a deaf woman who works for the F.B.I by reading lips. They'll get criminals on tape, or She will work undercover and read what they are saying. What I love - is seeing the F.B.I swat team break into homes, warehouses, etc... yelling: "FREEZE F.B.I! PUT YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEAD! KNEES TO THE GROUND!" It is terrific! The second thing I love is watching Jack (Sue's co-worker) and Sue together. They "like" each other, and are a very handsome couple, but the problem is- they barely communicate! O dear! Any time after working for days on a hard case, at the end of it all, the only thing they say is "Are you hungry?" After that, He'll walk her to her car, and say "Yeah...Well ...I should really be going.." And she'll reply "Yeah... Me too..." Last but not least, they all do these funny expressions! Like when they think about something, they'll twist their lips to one side of their face, or just stick them out. It's fantasticly(I don't know if that is even a word...) funny. All in all though, it is a great show. I love it! Yeah... Well I should really be going.....

Easter Weekend

Tomarrow is Easter and I am having a wonderful time celebrating it already! It seems like this whole week I have been busy thinking about something to do with Easter; whether to do with preperation for the Easter dinner, or maybe it's because I went to the Good Friday service at Church. So it seems like a longer weekend. The funny thing is after the Good Friday service, I would see people walking either out the door or out the parking lot, and would think "I should tell them goodbye- After all it is Easter weekend!" So out of the goodness of my heart I would yell "GOOD FRIDAY!" and I am sorry to say most people either ignored me (I don't think they knew I was talking to them) or give me this strange look and reply "Good Friday."

Ton's of great and I do mean great, things happened today. And one of them is this: I made a deep dark chocolate hersheys cake with german chocolate frosting! the best part about it: It's a BUNNY CAKE! And it is O so cute! I named him Henry (Don't think I am to weird, cause I know in your heart of heart's you name your bunny cakes too) and He's a wild bunny (His fur is very wild looking) He has green eyes that look kinda spacey (like a alien) and his teeth are nice and big and are kinda falling out (Vanessa says' they're like mine...) Happy Easter!

Friendship Topic Part II: Love

Well it happened! I spoke in Fusion last Wednesday on friendship and actually had a good time doing it. Late one night I was thinking about how Jonathan loved David as he loved himself, and how He honored and preffered his friend; And I was thinking for all of us it's our fleshly nature to put ourselves above others but I think the reason Jonathan was able to do this is because He was secure in who he was in God! He wasn't trying to get the glory and attention for himself, because he knew his security rested in God alone. Isn't that great? How neat- to prefer others above ourselves, and be gracious to them.

1 Corinthians 13:7-8 Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails.

The Van Chronicles: Part II

Part two of Van's funny and phenomenal (or is it phunny and fenomenal?) poems: Like a flower

Our friendship grew like a flower although the cold was nigh but then it had its root pulled up and it's time we say goodbye goodbye to all the times that passed and all the times to come,

you made my life be filled with stress and my heart beat like a drum

The Friendship topic

I think this Wednesday, Jenny, Vanessa, and I are all going to talk together about friendship and the friendship David and Jonathan had...

If I get the nerve to...I guess I will do it.

I'm fine talking to people of all ages and all kinds so I really shouldn't worry about talking to them all together. Gosh...Anyways though if ya'll have any ideas, questions, comments, etc...on the subject, feel free to be munificent in the matter and share! Maybe I'll try and keep you up to date as We work our way through our outline. Now that should be interesting.

Proverbs 25:13

Reliable friends who do what they say are

like cool drinks in sweltering heat--

refreshing!

The Van Chronicles

Vanessa has a hidden talent you have not heard of yet. She writes phenomenal poetry!

Here's a funny one:

"The Pope"

A season of new a season of hope

in Vatican City they just choose a Pope

He's seventy eight His hairstyle's great

And He ain't got no problem which woman to date.

Four things meme

• A get-to-know-you meme:
• Four jobs I've had:
• Babysitter,Housecleaner, songwriter,landscaper
• Four movies I'd watch over and over again:
• Anne of green gables, Wild hearts can't be broken, The Sound of Music, Perfect harmony
• Four TV shows I love to watch:
• Sue Thomas F.B.Eye, The Rockford Files, Macgyver, The Dick Van Dyke show
• Four places I've lived:
• Indiana, Killen Alabama (for a week)
• Four websites I visit regularly:
• Acpl.lib.in.us, Hccfw.com, My blog,Target.com
• Four places I've been on vacation:
• Campgrounds in Michigan, Beach in Mi., Farm in Alabama, My house?
• Four foods I love:
• Chinese hot and sour chicken, Crab rangoons, Cream cheese,Craisins and Ritz(ahh), Tacos!
• Four places I'd like to go:
• Nashville TN, South Carolina, Wales UK, A farm in Scottland

Alright, your turn!

The Love song

Hey Ya'll. Vanessa and I have been working on "The Love song" on this wonderful April morning (It smells like bonfire smoke outside...O so sweet the smell!) How I was inspired to write "The Love song" came about like this: Someone was speaking at Church a few weeks ago and He was talking about love for one another and the love God has for us...And something about how we people are just like "God are you sure you like me?" and God is like "This is who I am! I love you!" So I tried a few things and nothing seemed to fit. Then I heard a part of a song Vanessa was working and and wah-lah! Some how we came up with "The Love song" It has those cool octive changes too! Come and find me and I will show you it sometime.

The Sound of Spring

Ahh! Spring is here, daffodils and forsythias are blooming, the sky is bright and blue, and a time for singing has come. Literally. Along with it though comes the feeling of "Let's do something we've never done before!" like climb every mountain! Ford every stream! Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream.. Mark twin says it nicely “It's spring fever.... You don't quite know what it is you DO want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!” Maybe we should just have a nice spring football party... Who will come?

Don't say anything

Hey All. It has been a long while since I have posted! I assume you all have heard the phrase "If you don't have anything good to say, then say nothing" well I'd have to claim that phrase as my own right now. I mean I have good things going on and good things to say, but nothing I would like to share with you. Sorry. Ok now I am rambling...But this is better than nothing right?...Or should I just say nothing....

Roadtrip....

What a weird day. Nice but not the usual...but then again when are my days ever the "usual"? I'm going on a three and something hour roadtrip to Versailles Indiana. To play keys and whatever else I might find to do...Quite honestly it is probably the farthest I have ever been with just Van and I. O me o my o my o me. changes are popping up all over the place and I will never be able to go back to a normal Friday night, with just a movie and popcorn...

A weekend to contemplate

I went on our youth retreat this weekend, and it was the coolest! Two things were really neat: One: is that it wasn't all hyped up at all, but more of a coffee shop hang out enviorment. That kind of thing sits well with me, and speaks alot to me. Cause it's not the hyped up weekend conferences that change our lives, it's the every day living your life and obedience to Jesus where we change and mature etc... The second thing was: We prayed! We had the leaders praying over all the youth and speaking prophedic words over us, it was so encouraging! Prayer is one thing I just love doing with my Youth Group. So thanks Ben, Andy and the rest! Ya'll come back now ya hear?

Happy findings

Congratulations for finding my blog! I hope you will be inspired as you read this. I don't have anything very intellectual to say quite yet. So I will start out with a marvelous quote by Helen KellerWe could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world."